I noticed that something’s been off on my inside
Something has been feeling yucky
Like wanting to throw up 🤢
It got especially strong when I was being pushed to do something that
I didn’t really KNOW to do.
Mostly it was ME pushing myself…
To do things I thought I SHOULD do.
To be a “good mother”
A “good coach”
A “good wife”
A “good daughter-in-law”
A “good student” etc. etc.
I noticed that feeling coming up together with an intense ANXIETY
Before podcasts, enrolment calls, even business coaching calls where I tried to do really well…
I couldn’t coach myself out of it with techniques I’d learned like
“Here are all the great things I did in life… so how can I be a failure?”
I knew how irrational my fear was, still it took over and nearly paralyzed me.
I managed to cope and push through, basically have been hiding it
But I was never really free of it.
In a somatic experience, a sentence came up from a area of tight holding in my chest:
“I want to do so good… I can’t mess this up!”
Tears and tears were streaming during a beautiful opening 😭
BUT THE THING THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING FOR ME
Is something that came through gradually in the last couple of years.
It has to do with TRUE LEADERSHIP.
It has to do with stopping to follow something or somebody on the outside OVER what I know
Stopping to do the “homework” really well…
So “well” that when the application didn’t really work for me
- rather than questioning if it was the right thing for me
I believed there was something wrong with ME.
But when I started to stop following without TRULY listening on my inside
And tapped into a place of leading,
I gave permission to unlock a powerful movement from deep inside…
Intense, wild, fierce, sexual, outerwordly and unstoppable ❤️🔥
It took over the moment I gave permission
It busted that whole anxiety sh*t in my chest open
It was the biggest throw up ever 🤮
Now I know that whenever I notice that feeling of throw up/ anxiety
It’s a signal (a symptom) my body is giving me.
It’s NOT a mistake/ problem/ flaw I need to work on.
It’s life-saving communication to trust ME over anything 🙏
Trust yourself and watch the magic unfold 🖤
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